


Her Beloved

by bloodygem



Category: Bandom, Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Album), Escape the Fate, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, The Academy Is..., The Used, Thursday
Genre: Bad Touching, Brainwashing, Cute Little Girl, M/M, Odd Sense of Humor, People You Most Likely Never Heard Of, Strange Pairings, Unabashed fangirling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-08
Updated: 2011-01-08
Packaged: 2017-10-14 13:51:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/149862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodygem/pseuds/bloodygem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the end of the world we might get second chances. At the end of the world one little girl might be able to save the four men she loves more then anything. At the end of the world there might still be tears and laughter.</p><p>A story about Grace, The Killjoys, and their friends as they fight BL/Ind, grief and themselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Her Beloved

**Author's Note:**

> I was in the shower thinking about Grace and how she related to each of the Killjoys, I planed to write a small simple fic about that idea. This is what happened.
> 
> I was told to put in an index so it's easier to keep track of who is who so here it is.
> 
> The Mourning Doves (aka the band Thursday)
> 
> Geoff Rickly, lead singer: Dove name Thursday's Child
> 
> Tom Payne, guitar: Dove name Marble Tower
> 
> Andrew Eveling, Keyboard: Dove name Punky Pester
> 
> Tucker Rule, drums: Dove name Needle Playground
> 
> Escape The Fate aka The Escapists
> 
> Max Green, Bass player: Escapists name Evil Cupcake
> 
> Ronnie Radke, Singer: Escapists name Ice Queen
> 
> Craig Mabbit, Singer: Eascpists name Friendly Fire
> 
> William Beckket: Band code name The Academics, personal code name, Babydoll
> 
> Pete Wentz personal code name Sandman
> 
> The Used aka The Salty Boys
> 
> Bert Mccracken, Salty Boy name Smink
> 
> Quinn Allman: Bottle Blonde
> 
> Also, it takes a village to raise a fanfic no one is going to read so I say thanks to Jayden who inspired it, Lins who squealed over it, and Andi who slapped it around.

Her Beloved.

Grace always knew who her beloved was on any given day. Her eyes would fly open, always before the sun rose and she would know, just know who it was. Like how geese knew when to fly south, it was just something she did not have to question. It wasn’t like she loved any of the other Killjoys less then her favorite for the day. She just loved that one a little bit more.

On the days when Party Poison was her beloved she would slip up to him, quiet on her small feet, as he slept so deeply on the hard ground, thin blankets covering his thin body. She would consider her attack for a moment before she pounced wailing like a lost soul in his ear or sometimes sit on his hips and shout into his sleeping face.

He would always scream, bolt upright and grope for his gun. She would always roll to the right, get down in case he shot at her and laugh so hard it hurt. She never forgot to hit the ground now, make sure he wasn’t shooting before she laughed however, one time getting shot in the shoulder for a joke was more then enough. His wild red and black hair would stand on end like some kind of strange cat's fur.

After his heart rated settled he would smile weakly. Ask her how many times he had told her not to do that. She would answer the same way every time. Something about how he was always telling her not to do things; so now she was ignoring him.

On the days Party Poison was her beloved they would wonder off alone to a place where he could show her the few things he had saved of the old world. The best was an art book filled with different pictures. It was the best not because she really understood it but because when she demanded to know why paint on canvas mattered, she would get a passionate speech on art, the soul and how BLInd. was making everyone forget the things that truly meant anything.

She liked to hear him talk, she loved his voice more then any of them honestly. The way he spoke with clipped sounds, the flow of words around and in. She liked to watch his lips as he talked, watch his hands flying around as he made his points.

His eyes would get far away and she could watch him being himself, the minute he came back down from his inner world, watching him was imposable because he would notice. Once he noticed her eyes on him he shut down somehow. He was different when he knew you were watching, he just was, and it was unfair.

So she would watch him from the corner of her eye. Grace watched as she considered how to show him what she saw in him.

On the days Kobra Kid was Grace's beloved she would let him know by punching him in the shoulder at breakfast. He would laugh, hoisting her up like she was a sack of grain, to ride on his skinny but broad shoulders. They spoke rarely as they went around gathering supplies, dropping off things to others who fought the good fight. One time she got to meet Doctor Death Defying.

Later on Grace confessed to Korba Kid that she felt stupid for staring at the great man and not speaking to him.

He got a far away look on his face as he said softly. “Listen you need to use your voice, honey. Every single time you open your mouth you need to sing out whatever your song is, sing it for the boys, the girls, the world.”

“Then I was stupid for not speaking to Doctor Death Defying.” She kicked the dirt as he walked with her to the Trans Am holding her hand tightly.

“You were not stupid.” He said almost absently. “You were wrong.”

“Those are the same things.” She ran a hand around her wild curly hair snarling it. She smirked a bit. Tomorrow would be Fun Ghoul's turn, he liked to play with, brush, and mess around with her hair. She needed the pampering.

Kobra Kid shrugged. “I never thought so.” He frowned a bit holding her gaze as if he could stare right into her soul.

Kobra Kid scared her sometimes. Not only how cold he could seem; but how Party Poison would whisper to him sometimes. Ask him how he was doing, mutter something about not being able to find any pills of late. She had seen once written over one of the hide outs. 'You are an ivory icon, held under glass captive.' The words had led her right to an image of Korba Kid under glass walls looking out with unending sadness in his gaze. But it wasn’t just sadness that poured from his eyes, it was stark seething insanity. It had haunted her nightmares for weeks.

“What are you thinking about?” It startled her this sudden question. She had never been asked it before that she could remember. Her fathers rarely seemed to care about her inner self or maybe they just where so busy with their own inner selves they forgot she had one too. She pondered what they felt and thought. Hell she wondered why Party Poison sneaked away with Fun Ghoul at night, and why they came back looking smug and tired. But then wondering about what went on in Grace Land, yes Grace Land was the place inside herself and...

And Kobra was smirking at her slightly as she stood there staring. Sometimes, thank god for Darculoids. They had good timing. She got caught up running to a safe place where she could get on a rock to snipe them. After the battle was over his question was lost but she still remembered it, like a light blazing in a window. He had wanted to know about what was inside her. The idea burned over her skin. Or maybe that was the dust everything was made of now.

 

And then it was Jet Star's turn. He demanded to be the beloved. Grace would wake up with him cheerfully grinning at her at ass o'clock in the morning. Her bleary eyes would not deter him as she was swooped into his arms. He always buried his face in her hair or neck and inhaled loudly. “Smells like little girls.” He would say solemnly. “Are there little girls nesting in your hair, Grace? You should wash it sometime.”

They would spend the day under the car, or working to barricade the old diner better or anything that meant fixing things. Jet liked to work with his hands, he was never idle, so she was never idle.

As they worked he told her stories, made up ones about mermaids who got socially conscious so they began bombing whaling ships, or about girls who saved princes from towers while said princes fainted at their feet; ones about girls who danced in red shoes but with a better ending, or at least it was odder where she murdered the angel who came to chop off her feet with his own sword then set up a dance troupe in Copenhagen.

When Grace pointed out that his stories seemed a bit off she would get mock glared at. Jet would say his accent rough; “Hans Christian Anderson was a woman-hating fuck-stick obsessed with his backwards ideas about Christianity who was made worse by an oppressive society. You don't need to hear the real ending. I like mine better.”

Or sometimes the stories were about history his own or the world's. She liked all of it, being under the car covered in grease while he worked his way up to explaining the reasons behind the French Revolution and why only ten years later they had yet another dictator.

They worked themselves half to death. But she knew he was showing his love for the others in his labors for them. He sweat, bled, and would die for them. It was the way of things. Grace wondered sometimes if any of them would still love her if they knew she had shot her parents herself when they turned into Darculiods. It was not the murder that still bugged her; it was her lack of guilt on the topic.

As they took a break for lunch one day she asked him the question that had been burning in her head for awhile now. “Why me?”

Jet Star had looked at her from the corner of his eye as if sensing a trap in her words. “Why you, what?” He asked carefully.

“Why me, why find someone wondering in Battery City who tried to rob you all at gunpoint why would you save that person?”

He chewed his canned beans slowly then answered just as slowly. “When everything hit me and the others were together; we were together a lot then just like now. We got out because people loved us; I guess they still do. The point is there were people we loved who did not get out.” He exhaled softly. “People lost wives; daughters.” He eyes where sad but somehow still kind.

“So I am the ghost of wives and daughters past. “ The sudden bitter tone that crept into her voice shocked her.

He grunted so Grace looked at him full in the face. He was angry and this shocked her even more. “You are not a replacement for anybody, you could never be.”

'Then I am a way to get rid of your guilt.' She answered him in her mind only.

“And it's not about guilt.” He stood up then. “Come on, we have work to do. You also need to bone up on your Japanese history today.”

Fun Ghoul never seemed to care what he was or wasn’t. Maybe it was this that made choosing him as easy as breathing when it was his day. He would take her into the bad lands and there he would yank open his pack. She would watch him as he slowly, carefully set up a tea party. The checkered cloth, the tiny dainty cups. He would change something every time, a new teddy bear or a different tea pot. Then they would play for hours.

She both loved and resented him for this. The hours of hide and seek, or Simon Says where wonderful but it threw into sharp contrast what she was and was not.

That at the end of every day, she was a little girl. She was weak, she was lacking, she was not male, not an adult. So she felt both a love that was stronger for him and weaker in those hours. She felt love and contempt. It made her throat dry, but she chased him around anyway; laughing, throwing dust at him. The sun would burn them both red but it was worth it.

And then she had seen a lizard running by her hands moved before her mind did, her gun was out before she knew it. His hand grabbed her wrist staying her hand from killing the thing for lunch. She stared at him for a second.

“Don't.” He murmured.

“Why not? I can get it for us for food.” Her eyes tracked the lizard as it ran away.

“There's no reason to add to the deaths.” He said his voice faint.

“We have to eat.” She twisted a bit.

“I won't see more murder.” He repeated more firmly.

“Whatever.” The dust in her hair, in her shoes, under her clothes itched so much she wanted to scream. His ideals grated her even more. Something deep inside saw him as just as weak as she was. Something inside judged him for this. She yanked her arm away.

“You think you know everything. You think your way is always right. People need to do what they need to do, sometimes. Frankie. “ She spat out. “I think Party Poison and Kobra Kid have been covering for you forever, you're just, just...” She was on the brink of tears and hating them both for it.

“You are weak and childish!” Her stomped her foot on the last word. Then she turned to run from him, kicking up rocks in her wake, leaving him looking stunned.

And she meant to say she was sorry, but some part of her (a weak and childish part) would not say it to him. The next day she had been taken by BL Iind. The day after that they where all dead. She was rescued at the last minute by Doctor Death Defying, but she woke in the night screaming out. She saw over and over, Jet Star spread over the Trans Am, she saw Party Poison his eyes so calm, so beautiful as he gazed at his death.

She kept seeing Fun Ghoul jerk as he went down, Korba's wild eyes when his brother was shot, the insanity there. The sadistic lust for revenge. How his body lay on the ground spread out like a sleeping child.

She spent her time gazing blankly into space. Her clothes went unchanged, her body unwashed for a week. Then she found her voice, her ideas. She strode up to The Doctor eyes blazing as he sat fiddling with the radio transistor.

“They are not dead.” He watched her closely as if looking for signs of madness.

“What makes you think that?” His rough, mellow voice was at odds with the intense look in his face.

“Because I am a Killjoy, because I am the ghost of daughters and wives past, because I didn’t get to tell him I was sorry, because I said so.” She gasped out tears running unchecked down her face.

“Honey, you can't wish away--”

“I said so!” She grabbed a mug from his table and threw it at the wall.

“The funny thing is....” A voice at the doorway said. “She's right.”

“Thursday's Child. You didn't send anyone to warn me you were coming.” Doctor Death Defying sounded both leery and respectful of the man standing there. His hair was reddish brown, his eyes a brighter blue then she had ever seen before.

He was not very tall but carried himself with an easy grace that spoke of his ability to get shit done, when it needed to be done. He was thinner than Party Poison but wore it well. He was dressed plainly in a tee-shirt and jeans. His boots had holes in them, he looked tired but alert.

She had never seen him before but something in her uncoiled as he walked closer. He crouched down next to her.

“Little lady, you want your dads back?” He asked somehow making even the plain words music.

“Yes.” She felt small compared to him but safe too.

He held out his hand to shake hers. “My name is Geoff.”

The Doctor grunted. “Real names get people killed, man.”

Thursday's Child grinned a warm grin that made his eyes shine. “I know but I didn’t let them take my music, my family or my freedom, and I won't let them take my name.”

“Rebel.” The Doctor seemed amused.

“Asshole.” Geoff shot back said airily, his arms wrapping around Grace with ease as if they where old friends. He drew her into his lap as he sat down. Once they where sitting he took a comb from his pocket and began to untangle her hair.

“You won't fight, Child. You said in the beginning that is not your way or the way of The Mourning Doves.” The Doctor pointed out as he began to pick up the pieces of his mug.

“For Gerard and the boys I will.” His hands where steady but his voice trembled a bit, he began to rub her shoulders, his hands working wonders on the knots there.

“I know they would come for us, so we need to come for them.” Grace leaned her back into his chest sighing aloud with relief. Somehow she knew things where alright now. Everything was alright.

“So how do you know they're not dead?”

The question made her eyes fly open. She craned her neck at Thursday's Child, no, Geoff.

He shrugged. “Our role has always been information, hell don't we write most of the things you say over the air ways? Doesn’t half of your intelligence come from us, from what we hear running the underground railroad?”

“The day after the Killjoy's 'died' people began telling us of seeing them alive, but not themselves. They've been ...well.” He looked at her. She gazed into his eyes begging for the truth with her own.

“They were somehow turned. They're killing people. Hunting down the others who fight on our side. It seems...” He paused. “They murdered all of the Mindless Jokers, and we found the last one wondering around area six. He died after telling us what happened. It's all nonsense, unless they had been...altered somehow.”

Doctor Death Defying winced. “The Mindless Jokers, I ran with them for a while.”

Geoff nodded. “I know.”

“I still can't believe you and the Doves are taking up arms, Geoff.”

He gently began rubbing Grace's neck and she wondered if she could have a beloved that wasn’t a Killjoy. “You don't know how much it kills me to even consider it. I told myself a long time ago I would never harm another living thing for any reason but the world has forced my hand. I can't cling to ideals that don’t make sense for the world I live in.”

She turned her head up towards him and a tear fell on her cheek. She ran her fingers over his cheek wetting them with his tears. He smiled at her the same sunny smile the tears not even touching the warmth and joy that poured out of him somehow.

“So how are you going to lure them out?”

Geoff blinked his tears away before he answered but his voice was a bit thick. “We're going to wait. They will come for us. BL Ind wanted the Killjoys because they were so visible but they want all of us, every single one of us, never forget that.”

“So I came here to find out if Grace wanted to fight with us. There's a slim shot we can still save them.” Grace inhaled and stiffened. “But I don't know how likely it is.”

“I also wanted to ask you to come with us. Not only to fight but for protection, the Killjoys might hit here before they come for us. We're getting everyone together if possible.”

Grace winced. “But what if that's what they want? Everyone in one place then just wire your hideout with home made napalm, a few pipe bombs, then you're all deader then a Prom Queen's virginity.”

Geoff stared at her. “She talks like a Killjoy.” He ruffled her hair.

The Doctor frowned. “Kid has a point, what if they are herding us?”

“It doesn’t matter, Punky Pester and Tucker have been stockpiling all kinds of things I don't want to think about, we have razor wire stung over everything the windows boarded up, we began loading for bear a while ago just in case something like this ever happened. You know me I'm a planner. The perimeter is sealed they tell me and we have someone on watch at all hours from the steeple.”

Geoff stood. “So you guys go pack, I'll warm up the car.”

They piled into Geoff's Thunderbird with Grace pressed into his side in the passenger’s seat. Her mind was whirling a bit trying to take everything in. She couldn’t help but contrast what she had seen of the Doves to the Killjoys she wondered what more differences she would find once they where at their base.

She must have fell asleep because when she awoke they where there at the Dove's stronghold. Painted above the threshold was a hand made sign that said “Home” and another that said “Shared Existence.“ The church loomed over them all as Geoff swung the car in front of it. “Welcome.” He said a hint of a smirk around his smile.

Grace got out craning her neck to stare at the fifty foot steeple, then the ten foot stained glass windows. There were two figures sitting in the tower, they waved cheerfully and a voice cried out. “Hey Thursday's Child , hey Doctor. Do you think I could hit you in the face if I let some piss fly from up here?”

Geoff laughed. “You might Punky Pester but you wouldn’t live long to tell the tale. Douche-bag.”

And so there she was. Geoff bundled her into bed right away, he seemed to be unsure about showing her around right then and there. His worry for her made her feel warm as he tucked her into a cot in the main vestibule area. The huge open space made her feel awkward, maybe it showed on her face because Geoff yanked another cot over where he laid down.

“Tomorrow you can meet people, tonight I think you need some space. I worry about you, honestly.” Grace arched an eyebrow. “I heard the Killjoys found someone to take care of, and I was happy for them but... they're different now. Single minded. I just..”

Grace sat up on her elbow She liked this man but she was not going to hear talk about her dads. Not now. Not ever. “They love me.” She said hotly.

He held his hands up as if warding off a blow. “I know, I truly do but, have they ever told you what they used to do before things hit the fan, do they use their real names anymore?” She shook her head slowly after thinking on it for a minute. “Yeah, exactly. Have they ever sung for you?”

“What the fuck does singing have to do with anything?”

He sighed. “Mind your mouth, little lady and we'll talk more later ok?”

The next morning Grace woke with a start. A short man with too many tattoos, dark hair and gleaming eyes was standing there staring at her. He reminded her powerfully of Fun Ghoul and it stabbed her in the chest.

“Hi.” He grinned. “I'm Tucker but you can call me Needle Playground. I guess Thursday's Child wants me to show you around, 'sides being as you are a Killjoy you can help us snipe shit from the steeple unless Friendly Fire, Ice Queen and Evil Cupcake are up there again working out their.... issues with each other.”

Just about then three men swaggered into the room. They all had black hair; tattoos and wore tight jeans. One of them had black eyeshadow on, he was shorter then the others, the look on his face was so much like when Party Poison would wonder off with Fun Ghoul that Grace wondered if this was a thing that happened often. The other two men had their arms around his waist. One looked meaner then the other and they both wore lip rings.

“This the kid?” The shortest poked at her with one black fingernail.

“Yes, this is the kid, Cupcake.” He gave her a slow smile. “I'm Max, aka Evil Cupcake. You're cute, I never thought a Killjoy would be so cute even a mini one.” He giggled and Grace narrowed her eyes. “Everyone's heard about the shit you guys get up to, hell I once saw an outpost after you had blow it to shit and shinola, it was epic.” Evil Cupcake nudged the two men at his sides.

“Say hi to her, you rude motherfuckers.” He commanded.

“Ice Queen, or Ronnie.” The mean looking one said looking around as if he was waiting for something.

“And I am Craig, 'Friendly Fire' Mabbit.” Said the last man.

Cupcake yawned raising his arms over his head so his slightly rounded belly poked out of his shirt. “I am fucking hungry! You motherfuckers wore me out. It be time to hit the kitchen and con something out of Bloody Gem, everyone knows if we kiss for her she bakes for us.”

He slapped Ice Queen on the ass and got an evil look in return. “Come on, my hos, let us get some baked good loooovin'!” Cupcake whooped and took off. Needle Playground reached over and helped her shut her hanging jaw.

“What... were those?” She asked in a whisper.

“Oh, a flock of emos. Ignore it if you want. I know I do it's the only way to keep sane around here of late.”

“Sure.” She nodded her palms sweaty. “I will totally ignore that shit. That shit is now in the corner of ignore. Can we go shoot things or do I have to meet more weird people?”

As if in answer to this a boy who was so thin and tall as to be impossible came skidding over. He wore a threadbare shirt with jeans that had holes in them. His shaggy brown hair fell in waves and he picked Grace like she was a puppy so they where on eye to eye level.

“Oh my serious Jesus; Cupcake told me she got in last night but I wasn’t sure if he was talking out his ass again; it's the tiny little Killjoy! She is so cute! Lookit that hair!”

Grace did the only thing that seemed to make sense when some tall, thin, pretty, and very, very, crazy person had one dangling in the air by one's armpits. She poked him hard in the eyes, then once he dropped her; she punched him in the nuts. Then she ran like hell weaving and darting between the cots and pews not looking behind her even once.

When the boy recovered a bit he ran to hide behind Needle Playground who was trying and failing at not laugh to at him, considering how short Needle was and how tall he was this was a horrible fit.

“Babydoll; William, what did we tell you about being touchy feely?”

“She punched me in the nuts!” He yelled looking offended as he pointed in the direction Grace had run off in.

“You dangled me off the ground!” Grace shouted from her place behind a door, she was busy loading her gun.

A pair of strong arms clamped down on her from behind. She bit and scratched but she was held tightly.

“Hi. I am Tim, aka Pitbull and I do not put up with people pitching fits, or shooting guns in my territory. And being as I am a Dove you are on my territory, so kindly.” He breathed the next words in her ear, cold and deadly as a knife. “Drop your weapon please, dear.”

Needle Playground called out. “Stop it Tim, she's just a little girl.”

“She's a little girl with a big fucking gun,Tucker.”

“We have put up with Babydoll and the rest of the Academics being bears of little brain this long, hell it's not even the worse thing he's ever done, and you are gonna flip your shit over one little almost shoot out?” Pitbull kept holding her steady.

“Ok, you get Babydoll out of here I don't want to deal with his ass, then I will let her go.”

Babydoll yelped. “Hey, I am the one who got a nut-shot here!”

Pitbull growled. “You had it coming.”

Babydoll flounced off his hair swinging as he did. “Whatever, I will just find Butcher, he will love me, stroke me, and tell me how pretty I am. Stupid little girls with big guns.” He muttered to himself as he took the stairs leading down in the basement sleeping quarters.

Grace's heart was hammering but Pitbull let her go just like he said he would. She considered shooting him for grabbing her but then she figured it was just a reaction to someone getting one over on her. He stood brushing off his pants.

“Well as long as she doesn’t get up to anything--”

“Holy shit!” A voice cried as a short man wearing eyeliner, the loudest most clashing outfit Grace had ever seen, and spiked black hair came running up to them.

“Grace!” He screamed almost skidding to a stop behind Pitbull. “Hey, Tim, Pitbull my main man. I need to talk to the little lady, she knows what happened to my milky, mushy, marvelous, Mikey Way bar and I need to know these things!” He waved his hands at her grabbing for her shoulder. She shrank behind Pitbull and was reaching for her gun again when Needle Playground yanked it from her hand.

“Calm your shit, Sandman.” The short man fidgeted in place, bounced on his heels, and played with his hair while he rocked back and forth.

“I am calm shit, I am. Ya know what sucks? What sucks is, one of the sweetest little dudes ever is trying to kill me. What sucks is, everything sucks. My band is kinda broke up on account of apocalypse, I don't know where Pattycakes is...”

Pitbull sighed. “He's in the garden with Mable Tower working on the squash.” Sandman stopped. He looked at Pitbull with such contempt that Grace did not if she should laugh or smack him for glaring at a Dove like that.

“Anyways I need to tell you something because Korba, ya know Mikey he's my bro well not my real bro but---”

Grace shook her head and sighed. She glanced at her gun in Needle Playground's hand then had another idea.

“Hey.” She said looking up into Sandman's eyes, keeping a steady clear gaze on him making sure he was listening to her closely. “If you don't leave me alone, the next time I see Kobra Kid, if he's not evil and trying to murder us all, I am going to tell him you tried to touch me under my clothes.”

Sandman gaped at her.

“Did you just---” He said as Pittbull said “I think she's tired or something--” and Needle screamed with laughter.

Pitbull began shoving at Sandman's shoulders gently. “Come on you heard the kid, you keep pestering her and everyone is gonna be calling you Pedo Bear for the rest of everyone's lives. Now as funny as I find that....no wait. Keep bugging her, Pete.” His eyes gleamed as he crossed his strong arms over his chest.

“Please do.” Needle giggled behind his hand.

Sandman seemed to shrivel. He puckered his lips up in the most epic pout Grace had ever seen. His eyes filled with tears that seemed pretty plainly faked and he was about to open his mouth to do say something when Cupcake stuck his head over the railing of the balcony.

His long hair hung over his face as he dangled something over the rail. “Hey, Sandman! First off there are cinnamon rolls, I will share with you if you stop being a pain, also your boyfriend wants you. Also, also Mable Tower and Bright Shadow said to meet them in the garden if you are not currently Pete Wentz. Also, also, also I am never allowed in the kitchen again. Something about sex on the cutting broads, and stuff.”

Sandman scrambled off up the stairs towards Evil Cupcake. “What sucks is I have to take orders from dudes who's band sold like ten million times less records then mine did!” He shouted over his shoulder as he reached Cupcake, who laughed and held the roll over his head making him dance for it. After a brief fight with noogies, hair pulling and cussing they both took the double doors to the greeting area near the steeple.

“Why are we saving these people again?” Grace mumbled.

Pitbull blinked. “Because Geoff said so.”

“But...”

Needle grinned. “Can you say no to him?” He asked playfully. She paused to think about it, about his eyes - mostly how that faith in you and people shone out of them. She knew then she would follow him to the end of the world.

“See?” Pitbull asked softly.

She nodded thoughtfully. “Doesn’t that get old fast?” She asked as they all began to head for the back door that led the garden.

“No, not really. He gives us something to believe in. I don't know if you noticed but I guess in a way, Geoff is more then a person and a beloved friend to us. He's almost a symbol for, well, everything we are fighting for. And for all their horseshit I know every single person here would die for us, for each other and for freedom.”

Grace's heart swelled thinking about that, about how the fight wasn’t just being fought by her and her dads. There were others out there, she had met some of them before but only in passing. This felt more like a home, a gathering. An army untied by love and loss.

“Besides Babydoll. He would pretty much shit himself and run, I don't really know how he and the Academics are not dead by now or what they are doing for the rebellion but that's something else.”

After getting outside Grace met the last two members of The Doves, Mable Tower, a dark haired man with blue eyes who reminded her so much of Geoff in both looks and actions she wondered if they where related. The other; Bright Shadow was a quiet tan skinned man with a close shaved beard and intense eyes.

She felt a bit awkward in front of all these intellectual, older, passionate men. So she stared at her feet while they talked about everything from fighting the blister rust that infected most plants now, to how Babydoll of all people had broken into an abandoned military base and stolen an ass load of hand grenades for them.

Then Needle Playground broke into a grin as Punky Pester came racing over. He got his friend in a headlock.

“Dude, baddies about ten feet from the perimeter. It's murder time! Come on and bring the Killjoy.” He raced off giggling to the steeple as Needle's eyes went excited and deadly.

Mable Tower rolled his eyes. “I miss the days when you two had to pretend that you were not killing things. You are very bad pacifists.”

Needle slapped Marble on the back. “I was never a pacifist, I just told Geoff I was. Kinda like the time you told him you didn’t sleep with Dina Moore because he wanted to but he wouldn’t if you did first.”

Marble blushed a bit his right eye twitching. “Go kill shit, Tucker.”

“Can do boss, come on tiny wittle Killjoy.”

They found Punky sitting on a sleeping bag on the floor of a small platform in the steeple. He was gazing out at the view, his head pillowed on his arms. He seemed like he was lost in thought, a rifle rested next to him.

“You ever think about what we are murdering?” He asked his tone slow, almost dreamy.

“People.” Grace answered.

“Ideas.” Needle replied at the same time.

“Maybe it's more people who have been overcome by ideas.” Punky said as he beckoned to them both. He grabbed Needle's wrist and dragged him over to the window. Needle settled down behind his friend pulling two Glocks out.

“You think too much.” Needle placed a friendly kiss behind Punky's ear.

“I know.”

The rest of the day passed in a bit of a blur.

Babydoll came up at one point to tell them this whole long weird tale about how he had once tried to get a computer running because he firmly believed the internet was somehow still working, and he was addicted to fanfiction so he needed the net, dammit. However the thing had exploded on him and Butcher and that was how Butcher had gotten that scar over his eye. It had nothing to do with fighting off wild wolves so don't believe his lies.

Cupcake had come up at one point with lunch for them all, oven fried chicken, with deviled eggs and potato salad. It was the best thing Grace had eaten in years, so good she wound up running into the kitchen to tackle hug the cook.

Bloody Gem had stood there her eyes wild, arms at her side. “Um, what do I do with this thing? It has a vagina.” She'd said, sounding slightly sacred. Grace kept on hugging while she ranted about the awesomeness and thank you thank you. Friendly Fire had laughed so hard he almost fell off the counter.

Duchess the assistant cook had glanced over. “Hug it back, then wait until it goes away.” She'd said rolling her eyes as she kneaded some dough for dinner. Gem had patted Grace awkwardly on the head. She smiled hugely up at her and the cook melted.

“Can I keep it?” She asked running a hand over Grace's hair.

“No.” Duchess and Friendly Fire said together. Grace sighed quietly. She had missed hugs. Then she got an attack of the shys so she ran away back to the steeple.

It seemed like no time at all before Geoff was calling everyone down into the main vestibule area. He stood before a microphone. “I know it's a waste of the generator but who cares right? It's a jam night motherfuckers. So sayth the Geoff, the Geoff has spoken.” He strummed the guitar in his hands as Needle laughed.

“Stick to singing, asshat!” He cat called.

“Shut your cockhole and get up here, the first set is ours.” Needle ran at the make shift stage with Punky on his heels. Before Grace knew it the whole room had filled with people. They danced, they moshed, they threw things at the stage. She closed her eyes standing in the middle of the chaos. Her heart pounded as the vibrations from the drums and bass thrummed in her bones.

Geoff was someone else on stage. He threw himself around, got down on his knees sobbing out the lyrics. Those beautiful and somehow dangerous sounds coming out of her sweet and gentle friend threw her off somewhat. He was wild, he was free, he was on fire. Nothing seemed to matter to him besides the next word and the one after that.

Grace was helped up on stage right before the last song of the night. Geoff smiled at her. “Come on guys, let's make some noise for the lost but never forgotten Killjoys. I say we play Helena.” Grace looked at him as everyone screamed out their approval.

“What does a song have to do with us?” She asked.

“Your dads were...are...musicians, Ge...Party Poison wrote this song, I still remember listening to the demo, I cried a bit.” She blinked. “Now come on, we have people to please.”

And then as she stood there watching, listening. Being there she understood that something like this needed to be saved. She knew by BL Ind would want to snuff it out. Then just as soon as it began it seemed it was over. But she knew that it would be back, something had changed her, the music was part of her now. The party broke up slowly, people wondering in clots breaking down the stage, putting things away.

After everyone had cleaned up the place, the cots were replaced, changing the room back into sleeping quarters.

Grace fought sleep thinking about how each band had looked on stage. Thinking about how even the people who where the hugest assholes off-stage where transformed by the music. She thought about how she had been transformed by it. Her eyes fluttered shut slowly. She felt like everything might be alright now.

Then she woke. A sound; maybe a smell alerted her. She gasped right before the hand covered her mouth. “Hi, Gracie. You are so predictable, and thank god fuckin' Rickly shares that flaw with you. He played right into our hands. There was no other way to get everyone in one place but he did all the work for us. It's nice to have friends you can count on.”

Party Poison grinned down at her but he was changed. His eyes had turned black completely. The smile on his mouth was filled with rage, and someone had filed each of his small teeth into points. He was covered in blood, she could smell it.

Her belly roiled. “I know honey, but Daddy is here now.” He crooned stroking her hair. “Any minute now our allies are going to hit this place like a barrel of oil on a fire. We have so many Darculoids with us, that it's almost obscene.” He giggled a high pitched giggle. “Almost.”

She got over her fear long enough to try for his eyes, but he back handed her hard. Her head rocked to the side, her nose bleeding, her jaw felt filled with glass. “Now, now, my darling, we taught you not to back talk to Daddy, didn’t we?” His sugary sweet voice and breath that smelled like rotting blood overpowered her. Tears stung her eyes as the blood from her nose dripped into her mouth.

He clamped a rag over her mouth, holding her nose shut with the other hand. The pain made stars shoot off behind her eyes but whatever was on the rag knocked her out before she could even take more then a few panicked breaths.

As she was yanked down into the dark, a part of her sobbed for him and for herself.

Party Poison smirked a bit. He yanked the handcuffs from his pocket, snapping them around Grace's wrists. He made a gag by ripping the sheet. Once he had her bound and helpless he slung her over his shoulder. As he climbed the steeple with her, he laughed shrilly once he heard the gunfire, explosions and screaming kick in down below them.

He laid Grace down in the back of the small chamber. He waited, listening to the music of people dying, of lives being undone in so many small ways. He saw the shed The Doves stored their paintings, books, and music get hit with gas and set on fire. He sighed lighting up a cigarette. Then he heard it.

“Grace?!” A voice, Geoff's voice, was screaming from below. “Grace, honey are you up there?”

“Hey there; Thursday's Child. Hm, Thursday's Child has far to go. Well, you don't have very far to go now. You climb up here and you are not coming down. On the other hand; you don't come up here and, well, I am going to see if the little girl can fly. It's fifty feet up, right? I doubt it will make her able to play the piano better anyways.” He gave off that shrill laugh again.

“Gee....” Geoff breathed out. “No....”

Geoff climbed the ladders leading to the steeple with his heart in his mouth. He wondered if he could do this but he needed to, not only for everyone else but for himself. He needed to face this horror. When he got to the top, Gerard grabbed him by the hair, dragging him upright. In a few stunned seconds he was pinned to a wall his hands at his sides as a gun was tucked under his chin.

“Want to know something?” Gerard whispered in his ear. “I always wanted you. From the very moment I met you, just another of Mikey's band friends from Eyeball but something was different about you. Geoff the pure. Geoff the beautiful. Did you know...” Gerard's hand trailed down his chest. “The more pure and beautiful a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it.” He bit down on Geoff's shoulder then, his sharp teeth sinking in.

“I am going to rip you open, my passive little Dove.” Gerard wormed his hand down the waistband of Geoff's jeans. He cupped his hand around what he found there, giving it a light squeeze. His fingers were cold, clammy.

The cold of Gerard's fingers, as well as the sense of violation, snapped Geoff out of the daze he had been in. His eyes widened and he inhaled slowly.

“What did they do to you?” He whispered, low and deadly.

“They set me free.” Gerard said bliss on his face, he hand still around Geoff, stroking him lightly, teasing, a twisted parody of a lover's touch. His breath was picking up, fanning over Geoff's cheek. Red was blurring around the edges of the Dove's sight.

He struggled to keep himself from unleashing the flood inside him. He tried to remember who was touching him, what he meant. A part of him refused to believe this was really happening.

However under and around the denial, rage was boiling inside Geoff, the wave of anger was going to crash any second but Gerard did not seem to see it.

“They showed me the light, soon you will know the light too.” And then Gerard’s hand went to unzip his fly.

Geoff's fist slammed into Gerard’s nose, he kicked his left knee forcing his feet out from under him. He followed Gerard down, where he pinned him to the ground screaming as he hit him over and over. “What did they do to you? Tell me! What did they do to you?!” Gerard kicked, his hands lashed out trying to force his friend’s hands from his throat. “You're not Gerard! You are disgusting! What did they do to you!?” He hissed bearing down trying to crush Gerard’s windpipe.

Grace awoke in the middle of the fight. Her eyes where blinded by the darkness for a second. She saw two figures on the ground. She blinked; groggy and unsure. Then she heard Geoff's screaming voice, saw his hands clamped around Party Poison’s neck. She kicked, trashed, gasping out muffled screams under her gag but no one heard her.

She sobbed a bit to herself then began to chew at the gag spitting it out the side of her mouth. When she had enough of out, she shouted. “Stop it! Geoff, don't let them do something horrible to you too! You'll kill him if you don't stop, we can save him please, please...” She lost her voice then to the sobs, her jaw felt wrong from the blow she had taken before.

“Please....” She whispered then, but maybe she was pleading with God. “Please stop hurting him. We both love him.” And she did not know if she meant Geoff or Poison but she knew she would never forgive herself if they both did not leave this tower alive.

Geoff froze then, his hands fled to his face where he covered his eyes with them for a second he was still sitting on Poison. He stood up slowly. He paused a second and kicked him in the ribs twice so hard Grace thought she heard something crack “I am fine now.” He said roughly. Then he stared at Gerard as if considering kicking him again.

He sank to the floor, his knees around his face. His hands were still covering his face, there was blood on his knuckles.

So they all sat or lay there, tied up, guilt stricken, or beaten half to shit. They breathed together floating in space alone or just not there right there now. The sounds from downstairs settled down. Soon a head poked over the ladder.

“Fuck.” Pitbull whispered taking everything in, then he ran to Geoff. He sat down wrapping his arms around him. “It's ok, are you ok?” He asked stroking a hand down Geoff's hair. “It's over, it's over.”

Grace didn’t know if it was the drugs she had inhaled or just her mind closing down but she drifted off then. She barely felt it when Pitbull carried her down the ladders then lay her down in a bed in a room she hadn’t been in before. When she woke in the middle of the night, Geoff was sitting in a chair next to her bed, he held her while she cried again.

“Is everyone....?” She whispered. “No, we took some losses. Bloody Gem for one but she took down like ten of the motherfuckers by blowing half the kitchen to hell. I think she set a gas line on fire. It seems Ice Queen took a nasty blow to the head, he's in a coma. Babydoll didn’t make it, some others. The Doves and the Killjoys are intact however.”

“But my dads....”

Geoff shook his head. “They not themselves yet, honey. We're thinking about how to save them. Go to sleep. Everything with be ok, I swear.”

She shook her head, pressed a hand to it. Everything felt wrong, her chest was tight but she just lay back down. As if sensing she needed it, Geoff lay down next to her. They curled up together waiting for sleep. It was long in coming for Grace but they didn’t speak anymore.

The next morning Grace woke to screaming, it rang out all over the church. She winced slapping her hands over her ears. “What is that?” She hissed at but the room was empty. She got up padding over the floor, hands still over ears looking for the source of the sound. She got half way down the hallway when Geoff stepped out into it. He looked tired, he was wiping spit off his cheek.

“Fucking animals.” He muttered before he saw her.

She pined him with a hard look. “It's not working is it? Whatever you guys are doing, it's not working.”

He frowned. “Pack a bag. We are going on the road.” The wails kept up but now there where words. “Geoff please! I am myself now. I swear, let me out, I am fine! Let me go!” Party Poison's voice cut her to the bone and Geoff flinched like someone had slapped his face.

“You are all going to die, BL Ind is going to shatter your bones, unmake all you have done and play jump rope with your entrails!” He laughed that horrible laugh again.

“This has been going on all night, hasn’t it?” She asked her voice flat. Geoff nodded looking away from her. “Has he always been using such stupid lines? I think that's the really tough thing for me to listen to, he sounds like a bit part demon in an Evil Dead spin off no one saw.”

He laughed then despite himself and she smiled at him.

“Go pack. “ He shoved her gently. She ran then, looking for her duffel bag. Considering the state of the church it took her a while to find it but she did at last under an over turned cot in the vestibule area. She took some things she found lying around that might help them out then ran outside to wait for Geoff. She climbed up on top of the Thunderbird sitting there cross legged.

As she gazed around at the shattered, hulled out husks of houses, the brown plants dying in the sun, she wondered how and why life could go on so easy. People had died but those behind had to carry on, there was no choice there in the end.

Her musings where cut short when Geoff ambled out. He was wearing huge warp around black sunglasses that looked silly on him. She giggled at him. He ran to her; skidded to a stop then threw his arms around her hugging her tightly. His nose was buried in her hair. She just sat there figuring he would say something soon.

“I failed.” He murmured. “I betrayed everything that means anything to me, I hurt Gerard. I couldn’t save you from what he did to you. People died. I failed so bad.” He squeezed her tighter as if holding her was keeping him steady.

She nose was still tender as was her jaw; but that did not stop her from grinding her teeth as she pushed him back a bit.

“Are you God?” She asked pinning him with her steady gaze.

He stared at her. “What?”

She cleared her throat. “English, motherfucker, do you speak it? And I repeat, are you God?”

He frowned. “Stop cussing, and no I am not God.”

“Then stop acting like you are in charge of everything and everyone.” He blinked, then opened his mouth. Then closed it.

“Can we go?” She asked looking off wondering where the road was taking them. The door slamming was all she needed to hear. She slipped down off the hood, smirking at him as she climbed into the passenger’s side.

“Understanding in a car crash.” He muttered he as started the car.

“Where are we going?” She asked turning to watch the church slip behind them.

“There's a lab, about two days drive down to New Orleans. I heard that they have been working on a cure for the brain washing as well as other shit BL Ind gets up to. There should be a cure for the Killjoys there. You need to help me, however.”

She nodded. “Sure, how?”

He grimaced. “Keep me from murdering a certain someone when we get there, I think you'll know who when we get there.” She arched an eyebrow but he didn’t say any more.

They drove like the devil was on their asses. After twelve hours they took a break. Geoff slept in the front letting her have the back. She stared out into the night hoping her dads where going to be ok. The night seemed colder, fall was hanging on the wind. She sighed. She rolled over. She kicked the back seat not meaning to.

“You can't sleep; can you kid?”

“No.” She said curtly.

“Welcome to the boat. I keep thinking about the first time I saw them all on a stage. How they looked, how proud I was to help them. “ He sighed.

“Why won't they tell me anything real?” She demanded sitting up suddenly to lean over the seat.

He looked trapped. “What do you mean?” He asked sitting up.

“You know. They never told me what they did before everything, they don't use their real names. They never sing for me, I had to find out from you anything about their lives before and we all hide out in the dessert. You guys are living still. I think my dads...” She paused the ideas forming inside her felt to big to name even. “They're...dead inside.”

“They're not perfect, honey. They have made some mistakes; they got hurt badly like everyone did when shit hit the fan.”

She waved her hand. “So? You did too but you dealt with it. I mean I figure there are some dead wives and daughters lurking in everyone's closets. Dead parents. It's tough all over why do they get to hide? Why do they get to leave me alone while they cower in their heads? It's not fair.”

“Speaking of dead inside, or more like risk taking. You love him, don't you?” Geoff froze his face was almost comical. “Thought so.” He sputtered a bit. “This morning, the look on your face when he was saying those awful things. It just... looked like I felt.”

“Yeah, I love him. He's my friend, always has been.”

She nodded. “I just.... I guess I needed to be reminded someone besides us, looks out for us.”

He reached over the seat to hug her. “Yeah, I know.”

They settled down to sleep then. When he was sure Grace was dead to the world, Geoff sneaked out to sit on the hood. He gazed at the stars and lit a cigarette. He had quit years ago; but the end of the world as everyone had known it seemed to be a good reason to start up again. He licked his lips a bit.

Loss was something they had all learned to deal with as Grace had pointed out; but her words sparked something him. His mind drifted backwards. He shifted in place, mulling over the chain of events that had led to Lisa's death. Was he really over it? Did he really think he had forgiven himself for freezing, for not being able to save her? He had not. And how could he think that Gee did not blame himself for losing Lynz and Bandi.

Gerard had changed, withdrawn from the world. Hidden behind masks and ….

As Geoff shut his eyes; he considered how he had also withdrawn, by leaning more and more on the others. Being less of a leader and more of a figurehead because deep down he was scared. He made up his mind to tell Gerard how he felt because it was the only way to redeem himself now.

The next day they drove harder than before, barely stopping. Grace's hair got straggled by the wind. Geoff's face, for once, almost looked its age; lines standing out a bit, the brightness in his eyes diminished. Grace mourned the lost look on his face.

After getting lost four times in the ruins of New Orleans; they found the swamp area that had once been a military base; after everyone found out about Area 51. New ones had been set up in odd places in States. New Jersey was said to have one - out in one of those places that things like that can happen; even NJ had a few of those, small as it was.

Geoff walked over to a keypad placed on the wall of a seemingly-abandoned warehouse. He punched in numbers that sounded like notes to a song Grace had once heard Party Poison humming to himself. The doors swung open. A man with icy blue eyes, greasy black hair, a wicked grin and a huge shot gun stood there. “Hey Thursday's Child, small Killjoy. I heard over the air waves you guys might be heading here.” Geoff shrugged a bit.

“Party Poison needs help Smink. I figured you and The Salty Boys would want to know.” He stood there blocking their way as if considering it.

“I don't know, some harsh words were said between him and me. Last time I saw him things did not end well.” Grace groaned to herself. If this moron held a grudge her dads wouldn’t get help. She almost opened her mouth to tell him off but the look on Geoff's face told her this was something that needed to be handled carefully.

“Come on, Smink, Bert, please don't be like this.” Geoff almost whispered. “You loved him once.”

A small smile spread over Smink's otherwise cold, square boned face. “That's not the trouble here, Child. I think the trouble is I still love him, if I didn’t I would have let things slide years ago.”

Geoff considered things for a second. “But if you don't help him, help us, then how can things ever be right between you? You would loose your only chance. I've been thinking about second chances lately. Everyone I know has gotten one, here at the end of everything. Don't blow yours and mine by being petty.”

Grace was almost bouncing in place. She needed to do something, or shoot something, all this talking was driving her insane.

Smink's eyes went inward then. He sighed quietly dragging a hand down his face. “Yeah. Yeah you're right. I am gonna hear about this for weeks from Bottle Blonde but ya know what? Fuck Quinn right now. “

He stood aside letting them walk into the warehouse. They rolled a rock away from a hole that turned out to be the mouth of a tunnel. After a few minutes of dealing with the dust, more keypads and Smink slapping Geoff's ass once and denying it, Grace was seeing red.

She got parked in a small sterile boring ass room to wait while Geoff dealt with people. She was glad she had brought a book because after a few minutes she had run out of things to do. Five minutes of book reading and she sneaked out to explore. Smink was talking at, not to but at blonde man while Geoff stood on the side, his face buried in his hands.

“So then I guess Party Poison tried to bad touch Child here, dude, stop looking at me like that. It was Doctor Death Defying who told Lady Man who told me, ok?” Geoff groaned loudly. “Anyways, I was wondering if you thought X-C 12 would work on this case?” Smink giggled. “Come on Quinny- Quinny Quinnface, we need to get Geoff's true wub back.” He sang his words wiggling with manic energy. Grace crept closer to Geoff she tugged at his shirt, when he looked down she looked at his hand, then his face, he smiled offering his hand to her she took it.

“Are you guys gonna do something to help us or do I have to kick a motherfucker in the nuts?” She asked.

Smink laughed. “Dude, you're stuck here for a few days. We're just dudes from a band who did a lot of meth. We can help with some of the hard core shit as long as someone who knows what is what is telling us what to do so; until Twain gets back nothing is gonna happen.” Bottle Blonde pressed into his side. He had not said anything yet but Smink grinned as their fingers intertwined.

“Leto Twain? Worked for BL Ind's labs then defected, Leto Twain?” Geoff looked shocked.

“Yeah man, you think a bunch of band dudes run this place? Please, we're here to make sure he remembers to eat. He's out right now zone running, he said something about stealing more chemicals. So you have to wait.”

Grace grunted to herself. This place sucked, it was cold. It was too brightly lit. The dudes here sucked. She was bored, she doubted these jokers could cook. Geoff squeezed her hand tightly.

The door to the lab opened, and a deep, grave voice was heard.“Smink, Bottle. Why do we have people here? You know I like to keep our location under wraps” She turned to see yet another black haired man with blue eyes looking at her; he looked like he was about to pass out. His sweater was shapeless, so where his jeans. He slumped down into a chair that overlooked a complex looking monitor.

“I hate being the only mad scientist in this fuckin' rebellion. I mean who the fuck puts together a resistance with mostly band dudes? What are you gonna do, make-out at the baddies? I swear to fuckin' God I need to get some more people from BL Ind on our side or I am gonna die. Just fuckin' die, to get away from people needing shit all the time. 'Leto, we need protection from mind washing. Leto, we need a better way to vend hack. Leto, we're a buncha bitches who can't handle anything on our own'.”

His eyes lit on Geoff. “Oh, hey. Geoff Rickly. The coolest man alive. What can I do for you? Anything in my power you can have.”

Geoff broke into his sunniest smile. “Well, I am sure you know what is happening to the Killjoys. We need a cure I heard you guys where working on something like that here.”

Leto nodded. “Yeah. But the thing is, I can't do it without me and them being in the same place. So the upshot is you need to bring them here or bring me there.”

Grace tip toed over to Leto. He stared her a worried look on her face. “Does this thing belong to anyone?” He asked. She climbed right into his lap. “Um....” He muttered looking at Geoff. “This is yours right?”

Grace shifted so she was more comfortable. “Nope, he's mine, you're mine now too.”

Smink waved his hands around. “Am I yours too!?” He asked as he tried to climb Bottle Blonde's back.

“No. You belong to him.” She jerked a thumb at Bottle.

He laughed then. “Dude; she has us pegged.”

Smink yanked at Bottle's hair. “Lies, lies lies, you are mine Quinny-Quinn-face.”

Leto winced. “Uh. Back to the important shit? Unless you guys want to dick around till the Killjoys break out of their cells and murder everyone over at the Dove's place. No? Ok cool then.” Geoff gnawed his lower lip.

“Well if I bring them here we run a huge risk of them escaping, on the other hand you can't bring everything you need along with you, can you?”

Leto paused. “I'm not sure. I think I can, I mean Bert can help me. The man can build a meth lab in about two hours, I think he can help me set up everything I will need. We might need to run back here at some point or zone run for more shit I need but if you're ok with that...”

Leto shoved a hank of hair behind his ear. “One thing, once I set foot outside this lab you refer to me as Bitter Taste. Last I heard I was one of the most wanted men in the rebellion. And you never know who is on what side. If them Killjoys got away before they got cured I would be so fucked. I'm gonna wear a mask the whole time too. I don't want to meet anyone besides Doves and The Doctor you got me?”

“I guess we should crash here and leave in the morning?” Geoff asked.

Leto nodded. “Yeah, seems best.”

Grace got herded off into a small, very dirty kitchen where she refused to eat anything but a can of peaches because she really doubted the cleaning and cooking abilities of these dudes. Geoff followed suit but looked a bit guilty about it. He used his 'I'm a vegan' line, she noted he trotted that one out whenever someone's cooking sucked. He had used it on Sandman right before they left when he tried to shove peanut-butter and marshmallow sandwiches at them for the road.

They chose to sleep in the Thunderbird. She shifted around again waiting for sleep. But the morning came at last. Leto climbed into the back sitting next to Bottle but right before they left Smink grabbed Geoff and kissed him full on the mouth. Geoff made a strangled sound as he turned bright red.

“Thanks for helping me out, you totally got my head on right.” He said with a giggle. Grace punched him in the side. “Ow.” He grinned at her. “I think she claims you for Party Poison, man.”

Grace snorted. “I told you before, I claim him for me, Dad can share him if he's good and brings him back in one piece.” Smink bust out laughing so hard he doubled over.

“Oh Christ! That's awesomeness and awesomenocity combined.” Grace glared at him from corner of her eye.

“Get in the car, asshat.” Leto muttered.

“Can do Bitter Taste.” Smink climbed in, snuggling between them both. Leto growled but let him cuddle.

“This is gonna be a long drive.” He muttered to himself.

It wasn’t as long as everyone had feared, but there were a few noogie fights in the back, outbreaks of one hundred bottles of beer on the wall, and Smink driving everyone insane by trying to claim for over an hour that he had once gotten Leto pregnant. But there was still a grim feeling in the air. She knew nothing would be right until this was over one way or another.

Once back at the compound Leto wasted no time getting to work on them. Grace tried to watch the process but after Gerard threw up blood she began to scream. Geoff had to carry her out of the room over his shoulder while she sobbed her eyes out. He gave her some pills that she tried to refuse but the look on his face after the second time she shoved them away made her take them without more protest. She fell asleep. From what she heard she slept for a whole day.

When she woke she holed up inside her room; refusing to leave besides to go to the bathroom. She was ashamed of her weakness, but she could not go back in there; she could not even leave for food. On the second day of her confinement, Needle showed up with a portable CD player to block out the sounds. She kissed him on the cheek in thanks. He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes.

She punched the walls sometimes. Sometimes she danced to the music on her headphones a fierce joy inside her when the voice of someone she knew came pouring out. She was brought pen and paper by Cupcake who told her writing helped when everything sucked. She began a story about a girl who saved her dad who had been turned into a dragon by an evil wizard. But it seemed stupid and hollow so she stopped writing it.

The fourth day she heard a knock on the door. She opened it expecting a Dove or maybe Evil Cupcake. Jet Star was standing there looking worn out; the smile on his face was balm to her soul. she knocked him to the ground with the force of her tackle hug. They rolled a bit play fighting, hugging and laughing. At some point she began crying again and he held her till it was over, his tears mingling with hers.

Fun Ghoul came out of it about three days later, he seemed to endlessly eat for a while whining about how whatever BL Ind had done to them had rendered him unable to eat. Grace tried to help Duchess make his welcome home cake but she messed up a bit on the frosting. He ate it anyway, going on about how awesome it was.

Leto began to snap at anyone who asked about Party Poison or Kobra Kid; the sounds they made during their treatments got harder and harder to take. Grace winced when she heard the fear in Leto's voice; he was beginning to doubt he could do this, that was clear. Everyone tiptoed around both him and the rooms they where being kept in. The collective mood began to dive. Grace spent a whole day laying in the tall grass of a hill not far from the base explaining everything that had happened to her to Jet and Ghoul. They laughed in all the right places but the feeling of something missing would not fade.

Geoff would vanish for hours, the other Doves wouldn’t comment on where he went or why but everyone knew he was mining any and all hints, clues, and hopes no matter how dim. And even if he was a short, manic, douche-bag with no fashion sense Grace had to admire Sandman's devotion to Kobra Kid. He had parked himself in an empty room a few doors down to wait for whatever end this all went to. He visited Kobra for hours talking to him about old times even when he was unconscious. Once Grace saw him press a tender kiss to Kobra's forehead.

The sun was setting when Geoff found the three of them playing cards together. “Come on.” He said firmly. They all arched their eyebrows at him. “We're gonna play tonight, all night. They need to hear us. All of us, screaming out to them, dragging them back to us, they need to hear it. We can over come if no one sleeps tonight.”

Grace nodded. Somehow that made perfect sense. Geoff took the stage once everything was ready. “Come on motherfuckers! This about taking something back that was stolen from us, aren’t you all sick of cowering?” He yelled into the microphone. “If you don't give your all I will know and I will beat your ass without even touching you!”

Ghoul whispered to Grace. “He's not lying. I once saw him turn the guilt ray on someone who said something stupid about vegans, chick was a quivering pile of jelly by the time he was done. His disapproving glare can kick teeth in all by itself.”

Grace held her breathe if this did not work then nothing would.

Gerard cocked his head to the side. He could hear something going on outside but his mind had shut down. He floated alone; feeling so bone weary he couldn’t even speak anymore. He found himself sitting on a sofa in the basement he and Mikey had lived in for years. He blinked touching the sofa. It felt real. His head was woozy. There were sounds outside calling to him, beckoning. He felt like he knew the song.... like he should go towards it. That voice most of all was calling him to someplace that felt like home but...

“Hi there Gee.” He glared at himself, at the face of what BL Ind had done to him. “You know it's too late now right?” His other smiled a harsh smile. “You killed people. People you said you loved, people you said you would protect. You think your little Dove wants you back, bloodstained and disgusting?”

Gerard shook his head trying to get his thoughts together, he knew how to fight this if only he could get some space but the vision was dogging his every step as he ran from it. The scene changed he was on Warped Tour in the bus now. He stared into the night out the window.

“I...” Party Poison touched his cheek. “Oh come on. It's not even about the people you murdered maybe it's all about the wife and daughter you let die? Overall Gee-gee you are a failure. I am strong I am the future. “

Words like bubbles drifted in the air. Gerard could see them floating by. I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid walk this world alone. We will over come if no one sleeps tonight. I'll take the shot for you. No matter how far away I will always love you. We will overcome. We will overcome. I am not afraid to keep on living. What's the worst that I can say things are better if I stay? No matter what you say I will always love you.

He reached for the words by they drifted by again he shook his head to clear it. Party Poison slapped him hard over the mouth. “Listen to me.” Gerard watched the words instead of looking at his other self “Ignore that shit out there. It only hurts out there you don't want anything to do with it.” He walked away again; the scene changed to his wedding to Lynz. He gasped for air. Anything but this.

Party Poison smiled. “You can trust me, Gee. I am you.”

Again words floated by on the air. I don't want to feel this way forever. Sing it for the boys, sing it for the girls every time that you loose it sing it for the world. I'll make it stop I’ll take the shot, I won't let him touch you I love you. He wants to believe he doesn’t exist he's everywhere and nowhere all at once. In your eyes I caught fire like my first time. We shall over come if no one sleeps tonight. I will be with you running from the rain. I am not afraid to keep on living!

Party Poison was holding Bandi in his arms, he cooed to her. Gerard’s eyes blazed then. He reached out to grab the words and they settled into his skin infusing him with power, hope, and faith.

Party Poison backed up a step, he looked worried. Gerard saw his hands glow with a white light. “You are nothing but the oppression of evil men backed up by my own weakness!” He screamed light pouring from his mouth. He stood taller shoving his other self as he went.

“I beat myself before, I kicked drugs, I sweat myself half to death dying for one more drink and I did not cave then! I won't cave now. This is my mind. You're not welcome here anymore.”

He growled, his hair standing on end all around him. He waved his hand and Party Poison screamed as he disappeared.

“Motherfucker.” Gerard muttered to himself. But he was still there. Still trapped inside himself, something was not done yet. A hand touched his shoulder lightly. “Lynz....” He whispered before he turned to face her.

That crooked smile was the same, those eyes that forgave him for everything always. Her smell even was the same as she crushed him into a tight hug. “Honey.” He breathed.

The scene changed again, it was his house with her the one they had brought Bandi home to. She led him to their bed. Their hands entwined as they lay there together. She brushed his hair from his forehead. He did not want to speak. Nothing mattered but her voice.

“The living always forget what you say if you tell them too much so, just remember two things. I love you, and Lisa loves Geoff. We're both waiting for you guys, and there's no pain here. No doubt; just love. So if you find comfort with each other while we are away from you, you're not doing anything wrong.” He opened his mouth but she laid a finger over his lips.

“Don't. I know everything you want to say.” She kissed his eyes one after the other.

“My gentle fighter. My darling worry bear. You remember the lullaby we used to sing to Bandi?” He nodded slowly; drinking in her beloved face for the last time.

“Sleep my teddy, oh. Let all your worries go. I'm here with you; near with you. Sleep my teddy, oh.” She sang softly she cradled him in her arms. His eyes slowly shut sinking down like the sun in summer sad to go but inevitable. Her fingers kept carding over his tangled hair her voice was the last thing he heard.

And then. And then. His eyes snapped open.

Leto was standing next to the stage yelling at Geoff over the music. “Christ; Rickly can you overcome at something less then ten thousand disables? This is a very fucking delicate process and it's not going well!”

Geoff glared at Leto. “This is my disapproving face!” He said pointing at it.

Then from the back of the vestibule someone moved. Everyone froze staring at Gerard. He reveled in the moment as he walked slowly to the stage, everyone parted on both sides letting him go by. Geoff helped him up then clasped him tightly to his chest.

“We need to talk.”

“I know.” He turned to the microphone.

“Did someone say something about turning it down? I say it's time to do it now and do it loud! Killjoys! Make some noise!” He shouted throwing his hands over his head, one hand was holding on tightly to Geoff's. The place burst into cheering so loud he winced when he grinned.

Meanwhile, some time later......in the same church filled with freedom fighters; emo boys, and one little girl....

Gerard brooded his chin resting on his fist. “I need to say something, Frankie it's going to drive me insane. He is driving me insane. He keeps walking around, being sexy doing...sexy stuff. Like I think I told you this? Did I tell you this? I think I told you. Anyway, we're out last night kind of late, it got cold being me I had forgotten my jacket so he gave me his. I could see his nipples under his shirt when he got cold.” His voice went dreamy as a smile tugged his lips. He groaned as his head made a thunk when it hit the counter in front of him. “I wanted to bite them!”

Frankie was watching Duchess with worshipful eyes. “Yeah, you do that thing.” He muttered following her every move as she stirred the tofu and banana peppers she was making for lunch. Vegan cooking at the end of the world. Leave it to Rickly, huh? Gerard added that to the list of things that made Geoff insanely awesome.

“Frankie!” He snapped poking his friend in the ribs hard.

“Ow, what the fuck, Gee?” He asked removed from his day dream of good food for the first time in years.

“Geoffrey William Rickly.” He said his eyes squeezed shut, teeth clenched. “Amazing dude, blue eyes, our fearless leader so what?”

“Have you been listening to a word I said?” He demanded a pout forming on his lips.

“Yeah. Geoff's nipples. Want to bite. Unsure how or when or where to bite.”

“I know how to bite his nipples!” Gee hissed darting his eyes around looking for lurking Graces or Doves or Pete Wentzes or anything that might fuck this up. So in short everyone and everything.

Frankie lit a smoke waving it around, Duchess frowned at it. “Dude, just ask him. His dead wife implied she wants you to make him see God using Gee's little helper--”

“It is not little!”

Frankie went on as if Gerard didn’t even exist. “So I can not see how you need more of a green light. Do you want his mom to rise from the dead and tell you to smex up him too?”

Gerard picked at his fingernails. “What about you?” He asked quietly looking away. The floor was getting stared at a lot by him today. This was becoming a habit.

Frankie snorted. “You mean how you and me have some fun together sometimes?” He lazily stretched, winking at the cook who flipped him off. “Honey. I love you but we both know we did what we did for fun and comfort. There's nothing wrong with it as long as everyone is on the same page. We were. No big.”

Gee breathed a huge sigh of relief. Frankie leaned his head on his friend's shoulder. “Sides there's a new shipment of emos coming in. I hear one of the groups are hardcore New City punks, and the other are German boys that look like girls. I'm gonna be busy for weeks.”

Horrified Gerard hid his face in his hands peeking out a little.

“I don't even know if he likes me or if he likes boys!” He wailed then. “All I have to go on is flirting from so long ago the Ice Age is more recent and a fever dream I half remember.”

Frankie coughed on the smoke from his cigarette. “Oh he likes boys.” He said flatly.

Gerard failed his hands around. “How can we know!?” He shouted almost hopping half out of his seat. Cupcake wondered in then with his two boyfriends in tow. He smirked twisting a strand of hair around his finger.

“Oh I know what this is.” He stroked the side of Ice Queen's face; the one that bore scars from Fun Ghoul had throwing acid at him. Leto had been able to get him out of his coma by playing shitty music at him or so they both claimed.

Friendly Fire wrapped his arms around Cupcake from behind. “This is an angst session.” He chuckled.

Ducthess glared at all of them. “I don't trade baked goods for mansex.” She said waving a spoon. “I am not Ruby. The Bloody Gem has left the building.”

Cupcake crossed himself. “No no you are not, and you never will be. Yes, yes she has, she's gone to that big emo orgy in the sky.”

Ice Queen sighed. “Remember the ten inch blunt she rolled once?” He said in fake tears.

Friendly Fire pressed a hand to his heart. “Remember when she made those brownies that made people think they were poodles and it wasn’t drugs in the mix, just awesomeness?”

Cupcake pulled himself into the counter. “What are talking about?” He asked. “Oh right. Gee and Geoff.” Cupcake pinched Gerard’s cheek. “What's the matter beetroot? Don't know if he likes cock?”

Frankie blurted out again. “He likes cock.”

The Escapists burst into pearls of laughter. “Oh man! Your sweet wittle Geoff-a-rey and the fandom bicycle!” Cupcake was gasping for air so he didn’t see the spoon coming down on his head before it had slapped him.

“Out! All you little shits!” Duchess raged at them. Cupcake squealed tried to get away but she was to fast for him. Around the fourth time his ass had gotten the brunt of the wooden spoon they all fled with much laughing and pointing at Gerard.

Frankie wrapped his arms around Gerard who sat there still as a stone. “Ok. Know how I met him first because you where at college and Mikey met me before you did? Well one night I think about two months before you did the shirts for him, we got drunk. Just some touching it was really tame. Once you met him I could see there was something powerful and weird between you two. I never touched him again besides endless hugs and cuddles because well, Geoff cuddles cure cancer.”

Gerard glowered a bit. “You bastard.” He had forgiven Frankie already but he said anyway with shock and awe in his voice. “You bastard.” He already knew what Geoff cuddles did; they made it impossible to stand up right away.

“I just don't....” Duchess chimed in. “He moved heaven and earth to get you back to normal when you where sick.” Gerard nodded.

“But he would have done that--”

Frankie sighed. “He held your hand on stage when you snapped out of it.” Gerard had to think more about that one but he came up with something.

“Well, he's kinda touchy feely and--”

Duchess smirked. “Last time me and him where hunting supplies together we went to find lube because well. It goes fast around here. Anyways he took some for himself.”

Gerard choked on his own spit, making loud braying coughing sounds. His eyes teared up as Frankie pounded on his back. He was still doing it when Geoff stepped into the doorway.

“I guess you don't have to wonder now.” He said his voice cold and flat. “I am sorry if my interest in you in any way upset you, Gee. You are my close friend. Always. I want you to know that. I am taking over watch in the steeple. I just came in here to get something to eat. Sorry.” He marched off, his shoulders tight.

Frankie slapped Gerard upside the head lightly. “Go after him!”

Being as there was no other choice now Gerard hurried from the room. He berated himself the whole time he climbed the ladders to the steeple muttering under his breathe. “Stupid d-bags saying stupid stuff, upsetting my Geoff. Why is everyone around here denser than a phone book? How did I get stuck here in first place?”

At last he popped his head over the last rung. Geoff was staring out the window arms folded over his chest; hands clutching his elbows. He suddenly looked a lot younger and more vulnerable then Gerard had seen him in a long time.

“Me too.” He blurted out before he ruin anything. “Oh god, me too. You overheard the wrong part. Me too. For a long time. So long I don't think I can speak in full sentences anymore. Me too.”

Geoff turned to look at him, his blue eyes where heating up. But he didn’t say anything.

Gerard took the last steps over to him. “I want you. I need you. I don't ever.” He reached out to tangle his hands in Geoff's shaggy brown hair. “Want you to think I can live another second without you at my side.” He whispered their lips inches apart.

Geoff smirked. He slide his hands down Gerard’s hips so they settled on his ass. He squeezed. “Know what? The end of the world was almost worth it to get you into some tight jeans.”

Gerard groaned. “Don't get me going on what your jeans make me think about.” He threw his head back to expose his throat for bites and kisses.

As they tumbled together onto the floor, Gerard had time for one more coherent thought before everything was a blur of love and pleasure. There is a future …..

Downstairs Mikey, Frankie, Ray and Grace where playing cards. The mid afternoon sunlight made everything feel lazy.

Frankie played down a card. “Go fish!” He declared. “What do you think they're doing up there?” He asked dragging hard on a cigarette.

Ray darted a glance at Grace. “They are talking.” He said shortly.

Mikey shrugged. “Or working on a song. Me and Pete have worked on a few since I woke up.”

Frankie squinted. “Uh huh. Lies.” He stared at his cards.

Grace wound a strand of hair around her finger. “Maybe it's a panty tossing contest.”

Every man at the table turned slowly to stare at her. “What? I hear there's a lot of those here.” She sipped at her glass of water.

“Panty.... “ Ray muttered slowly.

She nodded utterly serene. “Cupcake told me all about it. He said I was ten and that was old enough. When a dude loves another dude sometimes they throw their panties at each other.”

Up-ended chairs flying, the Killjoys where almost as blur as they raced to the doorway shoving each other.

“I am gonna kill that emo!” Frankie shouted.

“Right behind you!” The others chorused.

Grace sighed to herself. Raising Dads was never ending battle.


End file.
